CHRISTIAN PARENTING IN A WICKED WORLD
Do you know (maybe not) that a large part of who you are today in terms of character and attitude is shaped by how you were brought up? In fact, statistics have proven that most criminal cases of murder, rape, child abuse, etc. can be traced back to childhood memories. It’s in that context that I ask this question to you: by what standard are you raising your little ones? I ask that because, based on my observation, there is really no difference between unbelievers and the “Christians” in the way they groom their children. They both use the same method: just allow them to grow according to the culture around. For example, little Junior is the way he is today because of his school friends, all on top of the TV programmes and the video games that he spends hours consuming. That, my dear Christian friends, is a problem. In fact, to say it's concerning is an understatement. If you say to me, but what can I do; just how can I raise my kids the God way?
Be there
According to a June 2025 article, City Press reports that 64% of children grow up without their biological fathers in Southern Africa. Not that those fathers are somehow dead, no. They are alive. They just decide not to show up to the responsibility of raising their own DNA. In fact, many families in this region were already reeling from an economic crisis that forced numerous parents to migrate across the world in search of better opportunities, leaving kids with grandmothers and God knows who else. That is the foundation of the issue. That is, you cannot raise your baby the right way, unless you are present in the life of that child all the way. They need to see and to know who their father and mother is, and to be with them every day until 18 years later! It contributes a lot to their growth and wellbeing. Nothing is as critical as this.
Their spiritual condition
Again ask: what distinguishes us from those who don’t believe? It’s our spiritual standing in the Lord Jesus. Therefore, don’t you think it’s vital that we plant that Biblical seed in our sons and daughters? Let them learn from you who God is. Teach them about the forgiveness of sin, how to pray, serving in the church, etc. This is what concerns me the most about this whole matter because most believing parents are very negligent of this. Somehow, they believe that Junior will automatically grow up to be a “good person”. And then they get shocked when he is caught on the wrong side of their moral code. It’s not going to happen by itself. You have to literally train them in the ways of the Lord. A quote: “If I teach my son to keep his eye on the ball, but fail to teach him to keep his eyes on Christ, I have failed as a father”- Voddie Baucham. This is serious. We must be concerned about the spiritual condition of our young ones. Not only that, we must do something about it.
Principles of life
Adjacent to the previous point is that you have to work hard in coaching your kids the values and principles of being a human being. The first of that is, tell them what to do; when they are told to do it. It means to eat when you tell them to eat and to bath and you tell them to bath. To put it simply: obedience. I will never accept this idea that the so-called 2000s children are so bad and so beyond control that we cannot do anything about it. Not so. They are what they are because we have allowed them to. It’s the guardians who have been sleeping on the job to train them in obedience and discipline. Far be it from Christian parents that we fail to control our young ones. Your child is not the parent; you are. Act like it.
Secondly, instruct them about the basics of economic survival: hard work, integrity, patience and self-control. Disciple them about the rules of living with other people (social responsibility): respect, sharing, forgiveness, trust, gratitude, accountability and conflict resolution. Get them to learn to work with their hands (a skill or two). Guide them through the realities of life, including the truth that life doesn’t always work according to our plans and expectations.
Discipline
Aside from child abuse, there is something called healthy correction and discipline. It means, as they grow, they will make mistakes, disobey and wander off into dangerous habits. That is where your love must manifest through your correction and rebuke – using the stick if you have to. It’s good for them. Consider this verse and ponder on this meaning: “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him” (Prov 22:15). I’m still puzzled by the fact that as today’s parents, we find it difficult to correct our young ones this way. Instead, we allow them to run wild, so that we can act surprised when they get into trouble. What hypocrisy! Again I say: drive foolishness away from your child through the rod of correction.
Education
I hope we all realize that there is a great benefit to academic knowledge. Unlike some of us who lived in times when our parents had no resources to send us to school. Even if they did, school was not that important to them anyway. But now, we have the privilege to break that cycle through our own sons and daughters. Well then, let’s send them to school! Let’s work hard so they will lack nothing in relation to their academic development and excellence.
Your example
After all is said, nothing will matter until we display that life with our practical conduct. Children watch you more than they listen to what you say. And when they do, what do they see? If it’s hypocrisy and compromise, they will see through it. If it’s integrity and faithfulness, so will they be inspired. Words from Charles Spurgeon, “Teach a child in the way he should go, but be sure you go there yourself.”
Conclusion: I hope you realise that the family institution is already on its way towards a catastrophic demise. And I lay the blame, squarely, at the feet of the modern Christian father and mother. However, I believe we can still salvage the situation if we rise up to the occasion and responsibility of what God has called us to do. It starts with those who have been born under your roof. That is, if you care.
Sinothi Ncube
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