WHY AM I STILL WALKING IN THE FAITH; WHAT'S THE SECRET?

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My greatest fear is neither the rising fuel prices nor the political tensions in our nation. Not even the Ebola virus in West Africa can worry me that much. What I dread most, with all my might, is to be a failure. And I don’t mean failure in business or in school but in the Christian Faith. I do want to come to the end of my life and be known as the one who ran for the Lord for many years but never arrived at the finish line. I’m sure we all have real-life examples of people who once claimed unwavering allegiance to the God of Christianity, but have since fallen by the wayside. That is my terror. I tremble at the thought of my own loved ones looking at me and seeing a hypocrite; one who has always pretended to love the Lord only to turn around and live the opposite. So, this article is for you: to encourage you through my victories and failures, mostly. What keeps me moving in the right direction?

For a start, I am one person who never likes talking about myself. The reason being that I am aware of the danger of self-exaltation. The last thing I want is for you to read this article and view me as a super spiritual person – because I am not! I know myself better than anyone; hence I can assure you that there is more to me than you see outside.

1.) Grace of God - I am sorry, but this is at the top of my list. I was born again in 2015 (somewhere in April), and since then, a lot has happened – a lot! From personal struggles to public criticism. It’s fair then to say, if it was not for God, I would not have made it to this day. And I am not just alluding to the hardship of life (life is hard for everyone), but I mean my own spiritual struggles; the doubts, the fear, the discouragement, the confusion and the setbacks with sin. It’s those kinds of things that – I believe – have resulted in more Christian casualties than any economic chaos can ever do.

2.) Church accountability - As you might know, I am a full-time member of a certain church somewhere in the area of where I live. That is where there are people who know me personally, and are responsible for watching over my soul, to pray with me and for me, to feed me the Word. Such things go a long way in reviving my soul even during the darkest of days. For me, the church is just another strategy to keep my faith moving in the right direction.

3.) Accountability from wife - If there is someone who knows the true me: my strengths, weaknesses, and even my deepest thoughts and desires, it is none other than the God-given marriage partner. Her presence in my life actually contributes a lot to my faith, in a positive way. Because I have realised that I am not only her husband, but also her Pastor – her favourite spiritual leader. Therefore, I cannot imagine the idea of disappointing her, and being the reason for her spiritual downfall. For that reason, I have to stay on the right lane. The first step in that direction, I learned, is to keep myself accountable; to keep no secret from her. That is the reason why we even share the same password across all our mobile devices. All that is for my own spiritual benefit in the end.

4.) Kingdom work - I hinted about my involvement in the church, yet I said very little about my contribution there. My church actually gave me a lot of things to do in terms of nourishing fellow believers. One of which, is preparing and leading a Bible study. Apart from church, I also have this online ministry to run. All these things combined, require a lot of dedication, prayer, research and study. In return, these activities keep my mind sharp and my spirit exercised. That contributes a lot to the overall wellbeing of my faith to stay on track.

5.) Individual spiritual endeavours - My primary means of grace as an individual believer are the usual suspects: prayer and the Word. I have to confess, I am embarrassed about my current prayer life. I mean, there was a time when I wouldn’t miss a day with the Lord in the place of secret prayer. Somehow, I have fallen way below that standard these days. I do not even know what the problem is. Regardless, I think my Bible study time is not as bad – at least for now. I still find time to read a few chapters a day, in spite of my “busy” activities. On top of that, I make use of the company’s WIFI through the YouTube sermon database. Some of the ministers I still listen to include John MacArthur, Charles Lawson and Albert Mohler.

My struggles
Now let me dwell on things that have negative effects on my faith. The number one suspect is, of course, sin. Believe it or not, I struggle with fear a lot (fear of the unknown future), I also face the common temptations like discouragement, pride, lust, anger, impatience and laziness. The only reason I tell you these things is to ask for your prayers. There are no super-Christians in this journey toward the Celestial city. Ultimately, my only hope is Christ Jesus the crucified Saviour and my Great High Priest. At the end of the day, I do not care what happens to me, when and how, as long as I leave this world with a good testimony, having run this race to the end. I will have no regrets. So help me God.

Sinothi Ncube


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