Sexual sin is any sexual act, motive or thought that is outside the bounds of marriage. It ranges from lust to porn, fornication to masturbation. According to an internet survey; over 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian ladies admit to pornography addiction. Even worse is the fact that this also has a grip on our trusted spiritual leaders; the pastors, of which 63% admitted to sexual addiction of some kind.
Silence from the Church
Even worse than concerning is the fact that the Church is silent to confront or discuss about this issue to find ways of helping believers in dealing with their secret struggles with lust. It's just silence! Being silent about something may indicate ignorance, but I think many church leaders do desire to deal with this issue but they just don't know how. I remember being a young man in church, the only thing I was told was, "If you commit fornication, you will go to hell". Scare tactics may be good for a season but not quite a good enough motivation for sexual purity. We need stronger medicine to overcome this great enemy of our souls. How then can we deal with this?
The problem is real?
A quick reminder, God has called every believer to live in sexual purity, it doesn’t count who you are or where you are; old, young, man, woman, single or married. Unlike unsaved people, believers are expected to keep the temple of the Lord holy as it is.
However, sexual temptation is real and we all face it or we will face it someday, somewhere. Unmarried people think that married people are safe from sexual temptation. Congratulations for being wrong because your battle with temptation has not ended on your wedding day; just begun! Not to discourage you but to tell you the truth. In fact, it only takes two ingredients for it to happen; desire and opportunity. Therefore, we are all vulnerable and are potential offenders in this.
It has consequences
“Ye shall not die” was the devil's advice to our first parents as he still says the same thing about our sins today. He uses the same tactic of trying to soften the seriousness of sin.
Sexual sin has terrible consequences. How many of our Christian heroes have been pulled down from grace by immorality? How many diseases are contracted sexually? How many marriages have crumbled by secret affairs? How many workers have been fired for viewing naked pictures at work? Even the world’s most dangerous crimes such as rape, women trafficking and in some cases even murder, are fuelled by misguided sexual passions. Sexual sins also have a strong grip on our minds; on top of addiction are the images of that secret pet that will stay with you the rest of your life even affecting the way you view your present or future spouse. Above all, sexual immorality will cost your soul if you don't deal with it; you will surely die!
We must deal with it
Sexual temptation is a lifelong battle that we must all fight; there is no time to sulk and accept defeat but to arm ourselves and be ready to resist temptation. Jesus said we must do extreme measures, even cut away many things we love so as to gain the Saviour.
Whatever you do, do not begin to love your sin, do not cover it and make excuses but repent of your failures as soon as possible. When you pray, confess your sexual lusts and thoughts. Be honest about your struggles to your Lord and pray for power to overcome. Singles must constantly pray for strength until the marriage bed while the married must always plead for grace to be faithful to their life partners. You are not the only one struggling with this but all believers around the world continually strive and strain forward, towards the goal of godliness. Join the army; take up your weapons and fight! God will not reduce His holiness to accommodate your sinful lifestyle; deal with your sin to accommodate God's holiness.
It’s a test of genuineness
The genuineness of one's faith is a desire to live in sexual purity. Yes, a believer can fall into a big sexual sin, but he/she will not stay in that sin; he/ she will constantly struggle and fight to be pure. According to Hebrews 12, God disciplines and restores those that belong to Him. Even the great Apostle admitted his struggles when he said, "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do." (Rom 7:15). Injuries are no marks of weakness but a definition of a true warrior who is prepared to die on the battlefield.
A false believer, however, doesn't care about sexual purity; he/she can jump from one bed to another without regret or remorse whatsoever. Do you enjoy your sexual sin, and can you live in it without making efforts to kill it? That is a sign that the grace of salvation has not found you. Many churches have become soft with rebuking sexual sin and teaching purity. We have seen many scenarios of ongoing and unchallenged sexual immorality inside the Holy House e.g. sister Choir Leader gets pregnant by brother Keyboard Player and the church leaders cover it and ignore it; no church discipline nothing! Will God bless such a church?
What if I have failed sexually?
The modern church has got only one reaction to those who fall into sexual sin; condemnation. Therefore, many of our injured soldiers who desperately seek healing hands are turned away to hopelessness; secretly dealing with their battles alone, and falling deeper into darkness. What the church forgot is that the Christian life is not about being perfect but that all of us are students who are still in the process of growth and improvement towards our Master.
Hence the Pharisees and Sadducees may demand to stone you for your sexual failure but the good Shepherd seeks to forgive and renew His beloved; starting with you. After denying his own Master 3 times, Mr. Peter was not condemned but the all-loving Saviour came to restore Him into a more fruitful minister. You also can experience that. Do not run away from the only One who can restore you but come to the Redeemer and be forgiven.
Beware!
Beware of sexual temptation everywhere! The world is advertising sex everywhere you turn (internet, TV soapies, magazines, billboards). Therefore be very wary of the movies you watch! Beware of pornography on the internet (you won’t look for it but it will look for you). Beware of sexually tempting people around you! Beware of lust in your heart! Beware of thoughts in your mind. Be vigilant and sober; there is a roaring animal who desperately seeks after your soul.
Enrich your mind with the Word.
The way our societies function forces us to spend a large amount of our day time in the world; feeding our minds with a whole lot of worldliness. This weakens our Christian spirit. Therefore, the only way we can get mental strength to deal with fleshly temptations is by constantly renewing our minds with Scripture. Participate in your church Bible study; read the Bible yourself’; seek spiritual knowledge and wisdom. I must go on to suggest that you also need to listen to strong preachers who rebuke sin and preach the truth. We all love motivational speakers that pump our egos but stronger ministers are more helpful to disciple us for holiness.
Good luck with your fight against sexual sin!
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality so that each of you knows how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, not with lustful desires, like the Gentiles who don’t know God.
Sinothi Ncube is a former sex addict who has been forgiven, changed and is still in the process of being changed, though he still struggles and fights temptation every day.
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