Should You Confess Your Private Sins?
It's not a pious statement for me to say that the greatest trouble of my Christian life is sin. And the fact that “I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” I am also comforted by the promise, “if you confess your sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us for our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Furthermore, the Christian life is not lived alone. There is a community of other saints that you share your faith with. That brings the issue of transparency before them, or as the good Apostle says, “You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone” (2 Cor 3:2). Another verse that is in my mind goes like this: “Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed...”(Jam 5:16). Okay, here is the big question: how open must you be before your fellow brethren? Do they have the right to know everything about you —I mean everything!?
Here is an example: a certain American Pastor came out and publicly confessed that he had committed adultery sometime in the past. Long story short, some of his congregants cheered him on for this kind of honesty, while another group could not contain their anger and disappointment at him. Now, I am sure that you also have a pile of your own skeletons in your backroom closet. And I am aware that you may have already repented of those ‘secrets’ to the Lord of your salvation. Would you care, then, to share about those private sins with your brethren, why or why not? What exactly are we supposed to confess and what must be left out of public knowledge?
As you ponder this, allow me to give you the good results and the bad consequences of telling it all. Here we go...
Advantages: It promotes transparency - This is one of the most essential aspects of the believing community. There are already enough con-men, crooks and liars in the name of God. People who are experts at dressing in the religious garment, as long as it is convenient for the surrounding audience. What we desperately need, and are in short supply of, are men and women of sound, godly character. Those who are true to who they are both publicly and especially, privately. It is in that context, that I believe an individual who is bold enough to admit their downside proves that there is nothing to hide about their life; they are indeed that “open letter” that everyone can read. That is the kind of a believer that I would be happy to fellowship with.
Advantages: People get to relate - One thing is certain, there is nothing new under the sun. What happens to one, has happened to another. What you may be facing right now is exactly what a thousand other believers are going through across the globe (1 Pet 5:9). Hence it is encouraging— at least to me— when I hear a certain faith-mate sharing about the same sin struggles that I also deal with. In that vein, I wish I could say this to all God's children: I understand that we all try as much to present the best version of ourselves, yet there is a time when people can truly benefit, and find hope from hearing about your weaknesses and struggles with the devil, the flesh and the world.
Disadvantages: It can hinder trust - A reputation is simply a general public view about someone. It is when people now trust your Christian standing based on the integrity you have displayed over a long period. Believe it or not, there is nothing as important as a good Christian reputation. In fact, that is what qualifies one for spiritual leadership. Which means, as much as it's good to “confess our sins to one another”, one's reputation can also be badly tainted in the process. It can tempt believers to say, “I can no longer trust brother so and so, after what he did.” Much worse if that person is visible in the church in terms of leadership. The worst curse scenario is that one can even be offended by one's “honest confession” to the point of leaving the fellowship altogether. Remember, not everyone is spiritually mature enough to be as understanding as we want them to be.
Disadvantages: It can be an excuse for someone's sin - “Everyone is doing it” is what motivates all our all day to day human lives. It simply means that we do things, either good or bad, after having seen them in others. This behaviour is true, especially when one is about to do something that God does not approve of. Something will tell you that it is okay to do this thing because so and so has also done it and no apparent judgment came on them. Sin is more contagious than a flu virus. Hence I believe this is the chief danger of telling my secret struggles to the world because somebody might use them as an excuse to do the same. This is more deadly, particularly to infant believers.
The crux of the matter is this: we must all strive to be as open as we can be to those who walk with us in this journey to the City of Gold. Whatever you do, do not be a hypocrite; one who ‘acts’ for the eyes of men while behind closed doors you are something else. This means that as you hang your dirty laundry to the public, there will be some who will be encouraged and edified, yes, yet others will be offended and led to stumble. Rather, begin by discerning the kind of people in your fellowship in terms of maturity and understanding, before you confide in them. I hope this helps.
Sinothi Ncube
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