What does the Bible say?
Read your Bible from all angles and show me any command for you to love yourself. Instead, again and again, you are commanded to “love your neighbor, as yourself.” The reason for that is that we humans are already in love with ourselves, it’s natural. We all work hard to care for our own bodies and protect ourselves from danger. Nobody ever hated himself (Eph 5:29). Therefore, the Bible encourages us to look outside of ourselves, towards other people and give them the same love that is already natural in us. God expects us to be outward thinking; to be always ready to make the best out of other people, the same way we make the best out of ourselves. I tried to count how many times the phrase “one another” appear in the New Testament and I lost count because it’s too much. On the hand, I noticed that self-love is heavily discouraged. It is in fact – according to 2 Timothy 3:2 – a manifestation of evil that has come in the last days.
Therefore, to say that people don’t love themselves enough or that they have low self-esteem is entirely wrong, instead, we love ourselves too much, and esteem ourselves too high, until we think everything on earth revolves around us; what we want, when we want it. That is the pure definition of selfishness and self-idolatry. When will I have time for other people, and their needs if I am so in love with who I am? Do you know that you are in hot soup if you ever get married or maybe live with someone who is in super love with themselves? Because they will contribute nothing to you, instead they will use you for their self. I have seen a few insane folks who are audacious enough to seal their ears with music phones, even in the midst of people, because they love themselves too much to see any importance in socializing with others. That is where it always leads to and I think it’s a tragedy when a so-called minister would stand up and tell people to love themselves. “Love others as you already love yourself” is the Biblical command. No more no less.
What’s there to love about ourselves?
I don’t know about you, but there are many things that I don’t like about myself. I have a sin problem. We all have that evil residing in our hearts, in fact, that is why we need a Saviour, is it not? The truth of the Gospel does not say that you are a victim of yourself, but a culprit. And radical repentance is the only way out. Therefore, a preacher who tells me to always appreciate myself is deceiving me because there is a lot in me that doesn’t need appreciation but rebuke and repentance. Example; suppose I have a habit of thieving other people’s goods, do you think the “see the positive in you” message will help me forsake my evil habit? This is why Scripture always commands you to examine yourself in light of the truth, lest you find yourself comfortable in your evil self (2 Cor 13:5). Therefore, to tell someone to love themselves is actually to deprive them of their only chance of salvation. For how can they be saved if they don’t see that “in the flesh, dwelleth no good thing” (Rom 7:18)?
Believe in yourself?
In the same way, to tell an individual to believe in themselves is to tell them to trust in their strength, intelligence and whatever human ability, instead of pointing them to Christ the ultimate Saviour –whose power is sufficient in our weaknesses. Think of it this way: if I can believe in myself, what do I need God for? With my ears, I even heard one preacher say something as shocking as this, “look at yourself in the mirror and say, ‘I am powerful, I am the best, I am this and I am that’.” As you can see, God is nowhere to be found in such statements because the false god of self-pride has taken center stage.
What about those who kill themselves?
My emphasis has been that no one has ever hated himself. Self-love is natural to every human. Question: what about those who hate themselves to the point of committing suicide? This is actually the reason why the self-love crowd has gained popularity. They believe that there are many young people that don’t value themselves enough, that are depressed because they are not beautiful or “white” enough. Therefore, the idea goes that they need to be encouraged into self-realization lest they end up committing suicide. Well, learning doesn’t stop because this day you will learn that suicide and other forms of self-harm are not a lack of self-love, but an abundance of it. Think of it this way, this person cannot handle seeing themselves in this condition, they love themselves so much that they feel like they don’t deserve to be treated this way, or to have a dark skin. Hence self-injury is just another way of self-preservation. “It’s better for me to die because I am so in love with myself too much to handle this.” You see? Otherwise, the one who doesn’t love himself doesn’t care, nor does he attempt to preserve himself to escape unpleasant circumstances by dying. Therefore, we all get depressed, not because we lack self-love, but because we have high regards and high expectations of ourselves, until we can’t help it, but think of ourselves and what people think about us, all day. That is the pure definition of loving yourself – too much.
Deny yourself
Just in case you have never read your bible, let me tell you that true Christianity is not a call to self-esteem but self-denial. I assume that those who are His true sheep have no problem with the sound of this verse, “Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it’ (Mat 16:24-25).” That means once you have come to Christ, you have died to some self-promotion, and you are ready to put your body on the line for the advancement of His kingdom. A real Christian is the one who can proudly join Paul and say, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me” (Gal 2:20). Why do we have this jellyfish Christianity that is so weak and so comfortable; without any desire to fight for anything? It’s the absence of true biblical preaching that was replaced by the self-help new age ministers that have filled the pulpits around us. These are the same guys who have taught people to read the Bible, not to learn about God, but to flip its pages looking for favourite verses to pump egos. It’s a sad state of affairs.
Beloved, we do not need any more self-love, instead, we need sacrificial love. We all need to be taught that the world doesn’t revolve around me or you. As a matter of fact, the Bible is a God-centred doctrinal book, not a man-centred self-help manual. We also need to appreciate the great privileges that the Lord has given us. This will make it easy for us to look outside of ourselves towards the needs of others. Done.
Sinothi Ncube
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